Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Lando or Lobot?

So, at my new job we get headset phones. I'm pretty sure that you know what I'm talking about. They're the little devices that hook over your ears, and make you look like a cyborg. Like Lobot.

And, while I have to admit that they are nice on those rare occasions where I'm talking on the phone while working, I'm still a little uncomfortable using them because I don't want to become one of those people you see wandering down the street talking enthusiastically to themselves. I don't want to look like a bad sci-fi character. I don't want to look like Lobot.

This is the point where those of you who's lives didn't rotate around Star Wars growing up ask: Who's Lobot?

Well, I shall tell you!


LEFT: Lando. Not Lobot. RIGHT: Lobot.

Lobot was Lando's side kick and assistant in the Empire Strikes Back. Lando ran Cloud City. Lobot stood around looking creepy. And, while Cloud City supposedly existed to harvest gas from the gas giant of Vespin... we all really know that in reality it was probably the swankiest place in a galaxy far, far away to throw a party. I mean, the place basically looks like 2001: The Casino.

And, who was throwing those parties? Lando. Not Lobot.

Lando is the person people should be emulating, not Lobot. Lando wears a cape, and looks good in blue. Lobot wears Earth tones, and color matches his pants with his vest. Lando in a high stakes gambler who wins and looses starships and floating cities with a wink and a grin. Lobot doesn't wink or grin.

How does Lando greet old friends? "Why, you slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler....." (followed by a big hug.)

How does Lobot greet old friends? Lobot has no friends.

How does Lando hit on the ladies? "You look absolutely beautiful. You truly belong here with us among the clouds."

How does Lobot hit on the ladies? Silence.

And you know that Lando is more fun at a party. In fact, I have proof. I just happen to have a picture taken at a party where both Lando and Lobot were invited. Take a look...


Now, I ask you: Who looks like they are having more fun?

So, in summation, people really need to stop putting so much effort into emulating Lobot. If you need to wear a headset phone while at work, fine. But, when you step out of the office you better take off the communicator unit and tie on the cape.

3 comments:

Jon said...

L fucking OL.

Um, yeah - your other LEFT. ; )

Betsy said...

Best. Post. Ever.

The General said...

Oops. Thanks, Jon, fix that. What can I say, I'm a "lefty."